WARNING... you are about to look at incredibly cute and rather stunning pictures. Be prepared to say awww....
What did I tell you, cute right!? Jaxson is 2. And to be honest part of me feels like it's dying. for the longest time I felt like god had given me a gift by having Jaxson be a boy instead of a girl like I had prayed for (read about that here). It truly has healed my soul in ways that I never thought possible. I can not tell you the times that I have cried myself to sleep thinking of all the things that I missed out on with Cayden (this was before jaxson was born). There were nights where I was angry that I got cheated out of his first 2 years. Nights where I was devestated that I wasn't there every day for Ally's first 2 years. I mean literally it got under my skin and festered until I didn't think I could ever get over it.
I read a post recently about how we need to share our struggles with those who understand how we are feelings. Birth mothers share what they are going through with birth mothers, adoptive mothers with adoptive mothers and so on. The only problem is that I have yet to find someone that gets how I feel. I have yet to find a birth mother who became an adoptive mother who struggled with secondary fertility issues. That's a mouth full now isn't it. So here is my question... Have you?! Please share! I'd like to meet someone who understands the fears, worries, struggles, and pain that I do on a daily basis.
