Saturday, February 12, 2011

"Siblings"

So I've been asked a couple different times...
Who is Ally to Cayden? or Do you feel like Ally and Jaxson are brother and sister? Do you feel that Cayden and Sopheya (Cayden's birth mothers daughter) are brother and sister?
I further thought about these questions when I read this posting on The r house. So while I KNOW I may get negative feedback from what I'm about to say I'm going to put my views out there....
So first you must know a few names and how they relate to me and my adoption story
  1. Cayden- My son...technically he is my step-son, however I adopted him
  2. Jaxson- the child I am currently pregnant with
  3. Ally- the baby I placed for adoption
  4. Jordan- Cayden's birth mother
  5. Sopheya- Jordan's daughter
  6. Branden-Ally's birth father
  7. Scarlet-Branden's daughter
First question I will answer....
Q: Do you tell Cayden and Sopheya is his sister?
A: No I don't. Jordan relinquished her rights before Sopheya was born. It's not like a foster situation where the two children interact and know each other. Cayden doesn't have any sisters but will soon have a little brother.

Q: Who does Cayden think Ally is?
A: Cayden knows that Ally "grew in my belly" just like he grew in Jordan's belly.

Q: Do you view Ally and Scarlet as sisters?
A: NOT AT ALL! Ally's ONLY sister is named Olivia and was born on October 8, 2011.

Q: Will you view Jaxson and Ally and brother and sister once he's born?
A: Honestly no. Ally will always be part of our family in the fact that we'll call her a family friend but she's not a sister to any of the children that Daniel and I will have.

So I'm putting it out there... Do you have any questions that you'd like me to answer. I promise I'll answer them all honestly. They can be about being an adoptive mom, a birth mom, a regular mom, anything at all. Ask away!

5 comments:

The Powells said...

what about Bryer?

Shaw Family said...

Bryer is tricky... Daniel and I have talked about it a couple times and honestly don't know what to tell the kids about her. At this point Cayden won't understand but as they get older we haven't yet decided what to tell them. We DON'T want to say ANYTHING negative about Amy but it's a hard thing to explain with out some negative parts involved. Do I consider her Cayden's sister... At this point I can't say that I do. However if at some point she or Amy contacts us things may be different. I do know that Daniel's parents still count her as a grand-daughter. It's just a different situation.

A Love Worth Waiting For.... said...

I just found your blog and I think you are just amazing!

Would you be willing to share your story on my blog? www.danielandlyndise.blogspot.com.

lyndsiebrooker@hotmail.com.

I am looking forward to reading more!!!

Carolee said...

Just curious how you think you can decide who is a sibling and who isn't? When they are older, all of your decisions won't matter if they want to find out who they are related to. As an adoptee, I would be careful about thinking that you have too much control over how your children perceive life.

Shaw Family said...

You're right my children will decide for them selves but I believe that how I feel about it will play a part in how they also feel about it. It's something I need to decide now before they get too much older. That is just how I feel about it.