Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Do you know....

There is a group of people who feel it is their job to convince pregnant women considering adoption that they should parent their child rather than place the child for adoption.  This group of people may have experiences with placement and adoption BUT this group of people DOES NOT know what it feels like to make an adoption plan, feel so incredibly right about it, and then have it driven into your head and heart that you're decision you're about to make is wrong.  They DO NOT know what it feels like to decide to parent and wonder EVERY DAY how your child's life could have been better had you made the decision to place them for adoption.  They DO NOT understand the heartache of wondering how you'll make ends meet so that your children won't suffer.  They also DO NOT know the heart ache of parenting a child you felt all along should have been placed for adoption only a few weeks down the road do what you felt was right from day one.

It drives me INSANE when these people become so extremely coercive that they ruin people's lives!  I'm not saying that I know how it feels.  I'm not at all saying I understand those feelings.  BUT I have dear friends who do know those feelings all too well.  They live those feelings EVERY SINGLE DAY!

There is a good, a bad, and an ugly side to everything.  I've come to realize that in my short little life.  Nothing is perfect.  While I have had a very positive experience with adoption there are women out there who haven't.  I'm not at all saying they shouldn't be allowed to state their feelings and opinions.  Go at it.  Share away.  But you telling someone "wanting the baby to have a father isn't reason enough to place" because that is your reason and the birth father ended up coming around isn't right.  Being on a man hunt to find as many expectant mothers out their and convince them that placement is horrible and wrong and they will FOREVER regret their decision is down right DISGUSTING!  And then you say you'll "support" them... by how... tell them to "just keep holding on".  Oh yes that's the support they need when they feel like their world is falling apart and they've made the worst mistake of their life and the life of their child.

I'm not on a man hunt to find as many pregnant women who are pregnant and not in ideal situations to convince them to place their child for adoption.  I have a blog where I boldly state my feelings about adoption, single parenting, and co-parenting.  I have in no way gone out of my way to change someone's mind about their decision.  I have in no way gone out of my way to convince someone the decision they made for themselves and their future family was a wrong and "horrible" one.  Quiet frankly anyone who does that is in fact the "evil" and coercive crap they speak out about so often!

So grab a cup and pour yourself some good old kool aid!


Alissa@CraftyEndeavor said...

I'm a big supporter of adoption.

I have a childhood friend who ran away when she was 17 and came home pregnant. The father wanted her to abort the baby, but she couldn't do that. She kept the baby.

My friend is in and out of rehab centers for eating disorders. She is dieing. She has even listed in her will to take custody of her son when she dies. Her mom and dad are currently raising her son, but her dad is often away serving in the military. I love that kid, he is the cutest little neighbor, but I can't help but feel sad for him whenever I see him. How much better it would have been for him to be raised in a more stable home with a mother and father

Katelyn Krum Shaw said...

It's hard being an outsider in situations where the child's life could have been blessed with a wonderful mother and father had the child been placed for adoption. Thank you for supporting adoption. And thank you for reading my blog!