Wednesday, October 5, 2011

From an outsider

I had this great idea the other day... Ask an outsider what my placement was like.  The only outsider there was my wonderful photography friend Lindsay (owner of  Lindsay Jane Studios).  
Todd, Luke, Josh, Lindsay
I met Lindsay in the ward I was going to.  We were team teachers for the sunbeams (4-5 year olds), and visiting teaching companions.  She lived across the street from my parents.  We became friends.  When I was pregnant she was kind enough to take these maternity pictures for me. These were taken on valentines day.  It sure made my day better.  
In preparing for my hospital stay I asked Lindsay if she would be willing to be in the delivery room and in the room for placement.  I knew I wouldn't really remember everything like I wanted to so I thought having pictures of it would help. ALL of the pictures of placement were taken by her.  I am forever and eternally grateful for the gift she gave me.  So without further ado here is the Q&A session between me and her about placement.  If there are any other questions you would like me to ask her feel free to leave them in the comments....

Q: After you heard I was planning on placing Ally for adoption what was your initial reaction?
A: I was happy because I knew how devastated you were when you first found out you were pregnant. You were so young and I know how important it is to be raised in a family with both a mother and a father. I was glad to know that you felt good about your decision. It was also very scary because I think that would absolutely be the hardest thing in the world to do.

Q: What was it like to photograph Ally's birth with Lori and Barton there?
A: I was honored to be asked to take the pictures of Ally's birth and placement. Lori and Barton are wonderful people and I could tell that you already had a good relationship with them. It didn't bother me at all, and made for great photos of Lori and Barton seeing Ally for the first time.

Q: What were your thoughts on Lori and Barton being in the delivery room?
A: I thought it was completely normal since you already had a relationship with them. I thought that it was a beautiful gift you gave them by allowing them to be there in that moment. It didn't feel awkward at all.

Q: What was the hardest part about placement for you?
A: The moment when you actually handed Ally over to Lori. I was already crying throughout the process, but at that moment, I lost it. There were so many opposing emotions in the room. I could feel the pain that you and your family was feeling, and at the same time, feel the joy that was about to be Lori and Barton's.

Q: From a somewhat outsiders point of view, how did my placement affect your view/opinion of adoption?
A: This was the first time that I had been close to someone involved in adoption. I think it is such a beautiful thing looking at it from the perspective of the adoptive parents. It took me 13 months to get pregnant with my first child, and at that time, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to have children. Knowing that if all else failed with getting pregnant, that adoption is there as an option was a comfort to me. I have an enormous amount of respect for girls who carry a child for 9 months and lovingly give them a home with 2 mature parents who can love and take care of that child. I absolutely don't think I could do it.

Q: What is the most memorable moment from placement?
A: Again, the most memorable moment is the hardest moment, but when you handed Ally to Lori and embraced each other. The room was so thick with emotion and was very overwhelming. There was beautiful moment right before I left when I looked back and saw Lori and Barton holding their baby girl with such gratitude.

Q: Has being at my placement impacted you when it comes to being a mother?
A: The main thing that it does to me now that I am a mother to two boys, is that I now know how you feel about that baby girl. I know what it feels like to fall in love with your child the moment he/she is born and it gives me more of an insight into the pain and grief that you must have felt when you did what you did. I admire your courage and strength and love for Ally to place her with such a wonderful family who loves her as much as you do. Thank you again for allowing me to be a part of that moment in your life.

Todd and Lindsay both played a HUGE part in my adoption story.  They may not know it but they were huge supporters of me all along the way.  I'll never be able to fully thank them for the support they gave me over the years.


Kayli said...

I wasn't sure if you would see that I commented back on my blog - I would be honored for you to link my blog, that is so sweet of you! Thank you!

Kayli said...

What a beautiful post. Chills. Hard to swallow feeling. The whole bit. Thank you for sharing Kately and Thank you Lindsay for your beautiful insight! This is such a good idea -- would you mind me "stealing" this Q&A idea?