Sunday, October 2, 2011

Meet Crystal

I am so excited about this post!  A little background on how I know Crystal.  I actually have never met her IRL (in real life) but we are Facebook friends.  So how do I know she is related to adoption.... I know Mrs R of The R House.  I helped with the 2010 Adoption Walk and Mrs R and I become friends on Facebook.  I started following her blog and we soon met IRL.  I often drool over the great things at The R House Couture.

I mean look at how cute this is!

Can you say simply wonderful!  After helping out at the Girls Night Out hosted by The R House I felt more of a firm love for Mrs R.  She's simply an amazing woman, huge adoption advocate and truly a wonderful person.

Now onto Crystal.  Here is our little Q & A session

Q: Tell us a little more about yourself (name, age, where you live, what led you to making an adoption plan, and anything else you want the readers to know.)
A: Crystal Renee. I was born 7-8-83 in Jacksonville NC. I currently live in Wilmington NC. I have a 10 year old daughter named Summer and fraternal twin boys, they're 7, named Kobe and Korey. I chose adoption after much deliberation. I was told for years that I was infertile and couldn't have anymore children. So, when I became surprisingly pregnant, I didn't know what to do. I can't even afford to feed myself, much less another mouth. My children deserve so much more and having another child would just make them all hate me. Plus, I can't go back to school with another child. The birth father is the one that "mentioned" adoption.  After I cried and wondered, I knew the baby was here for a reason. I'm pro-life, so abortion was NEVER an option.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with a baby girl by the way!

Q: Are you planning on having an open or closed adoption?
A: So far, its going to be as open as I want it to be. I'm not sure how much I want at first, I'm sure it'll change over the course of time. I mean, with lives going different ways or such. However, the family I've chosen is all for whatever I want. We can be as open or as closed as I fit. I'm sure its all going to depend on my emotions and everything that goes on. But I do love that I can at least see pictures of her!

Q: How did you find the adoptive couple?
A: Well, that's funny you asked. I used to blog on a family blog called Marvelous Masons. I found tons of friends and mom's that I could relate to or found intriguing. Over the course of blogging, I always stalked a website called The R House. I found her stories wonderful and of course always wondered if I couldn't have anymore, I might be able to get her help. Lol. After my divorce I stopped blogging, it sort of hurt to blog so I deleted it and changed to life of a mother to three. I never really blogged, but it was there and I sometimes checked my blogroll. When adoption came about, I went to this agency.  I did NOT like any of the profiles.  Some blatantly stated only girls, only boys, certain races. It seemed like baby trafficking and I said screw it, I'm keeping it. Until the next day, I just typed in The R House and left a comment on her last post, since I knew it was moderated. She replied. I didn't know what to say honestly, but she did, and it lightened my heart. I knew they were the ones. I did well, if I say so myself!

Click HERE to read the point of view of Mrs R. I remember reading this post and being on the verge of tears. Mr and Mrs R are such amazing people. I am SO extremely excited for them. Crystal is becoming part of a wonderful adoption family.

Q: What is something new you've learned about adoption now that you're going through it?
A: Oh wow! Lots. Haha. Some laws and such. I've learned that I feel bad for adoptive parents on all the money they have to spend on adopting. Emotions that are involved. And the one that burns me the most, scammers! It hurts my heart. If I was able to give babies to everyone, I would.

Q: How does your family feel about your adoption plan?
A: Not everyone knows. When I told a few, they bashed. Also, I've kept this pregnancy a secret for personal reasons. I honestly don't care what anyone says anymore. This my choice and its not easy!

Q: Tell us a little bit about why you feel adoption is best for you.
A: Well, as stated before, I've got 3 kids. I'm 28 and can't afford another. I also firmly believe all children need a father. My oldest don't have one and even though this ones father and I are still together, his fatherly track is not sweet. I want this one to be a daddy's little girl!!

Q: How are you preparing for placement?
A: Ahh! Is there a preparation checklist? If so, share please! I'm just taking it day by day. And I look at it as if I'm a surrogate, not a birth mother!

Q: What is a question you're dying to ask other birth mothers?
A: Did anything change after you placed as far as promises from the adoptive family?

I fully welcome Crystal into the fold with open arms and heart. The road ahead is rough but worth it. I can't wait to update you all on Crystal and how things go with her and The R House.

Birth mother readers.... Post a comment on how you prepared for placement and answer Crystals question... PLEASE!

To read more about Crystal and her journey through the adoption world you can find her blog HERE


Elizabeth said...

I don't think placement is something you can fully prepare for emotionally, because you can think and think and plan and plan and the minute that little baby is born, it can all go out the window! I planned to not see or hold my daughter when she was born all the way up to the minute I started pushing. As soon as I heard her cry, without even thinking twice I asked to have her put on me immediately. It all changes, believe me. I never truly wavered in my decision to place just because she was born, I mean, my heart wanted to take her home even more then than I had before she was actually on the earth outside of me BUT I knew deep down my circumstances hadn't changed and it was the best for her.
As for preparing physically...make sure you charge the batteries for your camera! Make sure, if you want to make a scrapbook, that you take the paper and pages you want so they can do footprints and handprints on them for you.
My daughter's family has not broken a single promise made to me before placement, and she will be a year old next month. I pray every day that I can still say the same in 5, 10, 15 years (and I have no doubts that I WILL be able to). :)

Crystal Renee said...

Thanks Elizabeth for sharing that. I firmly believe that things will be the same as well. I trust Josh & Lindsey. Not only that, I am very open with them, probably more than they care, lol. But it makes me feel more of a connection to them beforehand.

Thanks Katelyn for featuring me :)

Katelyn Shaw said...

Crystal thank you for allowing me to feature you!