Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Shannon Q & A

So after Shannon shared her wonderful story HERE she also answered a few questions for me.  Here is the Q & A session I had with her.

Q: Is there anything you would change about your adoption?
A: One thing I would change is to know how the dynamic of the relationship with the adoptive couple could, and would, change. Yes, they want to be your friends, but there is a purpose for the relationship. Things WILL change, I just wasn't ready for those changes.  Having a general or verbal plan wasn't enough about how open the adoption would be. I needed something in writing. The consistency of the communications changed. Life changes, I understand that. Some days I was caught off guard by a picture of Karson, but some days they came right when they needed to.

Q:  How do you plan on explaining adoption in the future?
A:  As far as Jayden is concerned, I will explain the situation that we were in and let him know that because of love, Karson needed to be safe. Also that Mr. and Mrs. X needed him just as much.

Q:  What is the best advice you would give to someone considering placing their child for adoption?
A:  I want pregnant women considering adoption to understand that you need to take yourself out the equation when considering to parent or place. The child needs to be the sole beneficiary of your choice. Being a single parent is hard and it will be tough for a long time. Being a birth mother is very hard through placement, but God will reward you for your sacrifice in so many other ways. “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.”

Q: What is the best advice you would give to a birth mother preparing for placement?
A: Please write yourself a letter indicating your reasons for placement. You need to remember your own strength. My own letter helped me find the light in the darkest moments of grief.

Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to be a guest blogger. I love adoption and I will always be an advocate. One last thing....”BIRTH MOMS ROCK!”

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