Monday, September 20, 2010

Step-Parent Adoption

So in the state of Utah a step parent adoption is a different process than a regular "from birth" adoption. The step parent must live with the child for one year with the biological parent as well. There can't be a period of separation for more than 4 weeks. The birth mother (in our situation) or birth father must relinquish their rights and also CONSENT to the adoption (That's the trickiest part of all). After talking to Cayden's birth mother for a while about things she was reassured that we would still continue to have contact with her and that she would be able to see Cayden grow up. When the time came for the finalization hearing I can't begin to tell you how completely and utterly nervous I was. There had been a few occasions where Cayden's birth mother said she wasn't ok with the adoption happening and she was going to find a way to stop it. I prayed so hard for months that she would be filled with peace, and that she would know that what she had done for her son was the right thing.


Of course when it came time for the hearing I was running a few minutes late that morning.... ya classic Katelyn. Our attorney actually called to make sure we would be there.... HA! Wouldn't miss it for the world. Everything went smoothly. Cayden sat and colored with my father while we talked with the Judge. As honestly as soon as the Judge signed those papers my heart was immediatly lighter. I felt like I had been carrying around a 50 pound weight everywhere that I went. My heart was jumping for joy. this little boy that I had dreamed about for years was truly, actually, and utterly MINE! I couldn't believe it!

And then I thought of the finalization hearing that I attended when my daughter's adoption was being finalized. Did her family have similar feelings? Did they worry that I would do something to jepardize what they had worked so hard to build? And then I thought back to when I sat in that court room and watched as Ally's parents were asked if they loved her, asked if they would do anything for her, asked if they were willing to take her on as their own. I can't begin to explain the feelings of peace and calm that filled me that day when I knew that without a doubt my daughter was where she needed to be. She was with her family. I had done the right thing and allowed God's plan to work through me.

At Cayden's finalization

At Ally's finalization

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