Wednesday, September 15, 2010


I had my first visit with Ally on May 23, just over a week after I placed. We had originally planned that the first visit would be some time in June but I was going through withdraws. Not baby withdraws but family withdraws. Lori, Barton, Spencer, and Brady had become my life for so many months that not seeing them was killer. They were everything to me, they were basically family. I use to get phone calls once a day but after placement I didn't (out of respect for me of course) and I found it much harder to deal with placement. I can't imagine having a completely closed adoption! I called Lori and asked her if I could come spend time with their family, that was the key, I wasn't wanting to just spend time with Ally but spend time with their family as a whole. They are such great and amazing people it's hard not to love them!
The time that I spent with their family that night was SO healing! It was great to not only be able to see that Ally was happy and healthy but to see how much her brothers, mother, and father loved her. I talked with Lori and we decided that from now on we'd let me do the reaching out. Lori felt like she didn't want to over step on anything and if I was doing too much Lori knew the relationship we had and she would feel comfortable saying something. A few weeks later I called Lori and asked if we could get together again. It worked out that we met at Layton Park so the boys could play.
The visits continued at the park until it got to cold for Ally. A couple of times my mom would come with me. All in all it was good to be able to hold Ally. Love her, and as get to see those adorable boys! Although the park visits stopped I still continued to visit with Lori and see Ally. I can't begin to explain the joys that have come into my life because of this wonderful family and because of my wonderful baby.

About a month after I placed Brandon decided to call Kevin at LDSFS and request to see Ally. Kevin called me and I very clearly explained to him that I had notified Brandon when he could have seen Ally (while I was in the hospital after I had signed my papers) and he had chosen not to. Kevin told me that he would talk with Lori and Barton and see what they said. To my utter dismay they said that it would be ok for Brandon to see Ally.....

No comments: