Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Craig and Erin

I met Craig and Erin years ago.  I was friends of a friend of Craig's my sophomore year.  You know I may have actually dated one of his friends....anyway... we had common friends but weren't really friends.  When Daniel and I moved into our current apartment Craig and Erin were in our ward.  I talked with Craig a few times and found out they were hoping to adopt.  We've kept in contact since and they were willing to do a guest post for me.  They are WONDERFUL people.  In fact Erin's mom was my brother's favorite math teacher in high school.  Just a little fun fact for you.

Here is the Q&A with Craig and Erin

Q:  Tell a little about yourselves (your names, age, where you live, when adoption first touched your
lives, and anything else you feel comfortable sharing with my readers).
A:  We are Craig and Erin! We met in High School and dated our senior year. Erin is 26 (just barely) and
Craig is 25. We are both from Layton, Utah and just moved to Nebraska this past summer (July 2011), so
Craig could start Law School at University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Adoption first touched our lives with the placement of our nephew. At that time we didn't know we would
have the opportunity to adopt our own children. We are grateful we have witnessed the blessings of
adoption in our family.

Q:  Tell a little bit about your journey towards adoption.
A:  Our journey towards adoption is probably just like many others. We always wanted children and started
trying to have children 1 ½ or 2 years after being married. After 12 months of no success, we finally made
the dreaded doctor appointments. We were very fortunate to learn the cause of infertility before starting
any treatments, but were sad to learn that in-vitro fertilization (IVF) would be the only option of having
biological children. Because IVF is so expensive, we decided right away to start the adoption process.
After a few months, our profile was up and we were excited that parenthood was getting closer.
About 6 months after our profile was up, we were able to do one round of IVF which resulted in a
pregnancy. We opted to keep our adoption profile up until after the first trimester. Unfortunately though,
the pregnancy was lost after about 10 weeks. We were devastated about the loss, but at the same time
were grateful we had felt it was right to continue with adoption.

Q:  What do you feel has been the biggest obstacle for you while hoping to adopt?
A:  Our biggest obstacle probably has been our lack of patience with the process. We are both excited to be
parents and have had a hard time waiting for that day to come. It has been a difficult trial as we have so
many friends and relatives who are all starting families of their own. We are obviously excited for them
and their new journeys, but it also tests our own patience as we wait to begin our family.

Q:  How did your families react when you decided to adopt?
A:  Both of our families were extremely supportive and willing to help us out in anyway. With Craig’s family,
his oldest brother has adopted their two children and so they have been through the experience and have
seen the wonderful blessings that adoption brings. Erin’s family is excited for us to have children and
have loved and supported us through the entire process.

Q:  What is the most nerve wracking thing about waiting to hear from a birth mother?
A:  The most nerve-racking thing about waiting to hear from a birth mother is not knowing when that moment
will actually happen. Once our profile is transferred from Layton, UT to Lincoln, NE we will be anxiously
awaiting to hear from a birth mother. We think not knowing if it will be two months or two years is the most
difficult aspect of the adoption process for an adoptive couple.

Q:   Have you ever had a face-to-face meeting with a birth mother?
If yes what were your feelings in preparing for it and after meeting the birth mother?
A:  We have not had a face-to-face meeting with a birth mother.

Q:  What advice to do you have for couples you are preparing to adopt?
A:  From our standpoint, we think the most important part of the preparation process is to not forget about
each other. Through all of the emotions and challenges that come through infertility it can be easy to lose
sight of life and the joys that come from it. We have found that going on dates and vacations and finding
time to be with each other have been some of the most rewarding times of our lives.

Q:  What advice do you have for couples that are starting the process of adoption (filling out the
paper work type stuff)?
A:  To get it done. We found that it can be an overwhelming process to fill out all the paper work, visit
the doctor, find the right photographs and try to write a profile that truly expresses our feelings about
each other, birth mothers, and adoption in general. These struggles made it easy to put off completing
everything we needed to. But the more we worked at it, the more things fell into place and the quicker it
got done.

Q:  What would you say to women who are pregnant and considering their options?
A:  With neither of us ever being in a similar situation, it is difficult to know what to say other than that we
know it is a challenging time but that it can be also a time for tremendous personal growth. We know that
our Savior has a specific plan for each of us and that as we rely and place our trust in him, he will give us
the guidance we need.

Craig and Erin are hoping to adopt.  Since their recent move their profile hasn't been transferred (I'll add it to this post when it is transferred) but here is there adoption blog.  craiganderinadopt.blogspot.com

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