Pregnancy Loss

I have recently felt the desire to talk about things that have an impact on our lives that are not just adoption.  They are things that can lead to adoption and things that adoptive couples may have lived through.  But the topic today is not about adoption.  This is an issue I haven't talked about much.  It hurts and it's real and I know FAR too many people who have dealt with the loss of a pregnancy.  The most recent is someone I went to high school with.  We weren't close in high school but I knew of her and her sister.  I heard about her loss shortly after it happened and was struck by this picture.

It is simply beautiful!

Another friend of mine had an ectopic pregnancy with many complications and was farther along than most ectopic pregnancies when they found out.  She shared this on her blog.

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today

I asked, "What makes a Mother?"

And I know I heard him say

A Mother has a baby

This we know is true

But, God, can you be a mother

When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied

With confidence in his voice

I give many women babies

When they leave it is not their choice

Some I send for a lifetime

And others for the day

And some I send to feel your womb

But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God

I want my baby here

He took a breath

and cleared his throat

And then I saw a tear

I wish I could show you

What your child is doing Here

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say

"We go to earth to learn our lessons

of love and life and fear,

but My mommy loved me so much

I got to come straight here!"

I feel so lucky to have a Mom who

had so much love for me

I learned my lessons very quickly

My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much

But I visit her each day

When she goes to sleep

On her pillow is where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear

"Mommy, Please don't be sad today

I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one

Your children are okay

Your babies are here in My home

And this is where they'll stay

They'll wait for you with Me

Until your lessons there are through

And on the day that you come home

they'll be at the gates waiting for you

So now you see

What makes a Mother

It's the feeling in your heart

It's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start

There is no way to heal a broken heart from pregnancy loss. It's a very sensitive subject and shouldn't be taken lightly. Daniel and I have dealt with the pains of pregnancy loss and there is no way to describe the feelings that a mother goes through during that time. I clearly remember laying on the floor pleading that the pain would stop. It was feelings I'd never felt before. I've known the pain of placement. Choosing a better life for my child but in a form loosing them. Never did I imagine that pain I would feel when I would loose my child without a choice. I've often thought of the little babes that were too perfect for this earth. They have a mommy and daddy who love them very much. I can't help but cry when I read the following poem.

I have not turned my back on you

So there is no need to cry.

I'm watching you from heaven

Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart

When you could barely stand.

I asked an angel to comfort you

And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain

Than I could ever be.

She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard

Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch

Or see me by your side.

I've whispered that I love you

While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me

We'll meet again one day.

Beyond the dark and stormy sky

A rainbow lights the way.

To read more about stories about pregnancy loss you can read Emily and Danielle's story.  I went to high school with both of these girls and they truly are amazing women.  Thank you both for allowing me to share your story of my blog.

Emily's Story and Danielle's Story

I am also posting links to The R House and the awesome things she has written about pregnancy loss

Understanding and Supporting Pregnancy Loss

The Do's and Do Not's

The Grieving Process

These are GREAT resources that can be helpful to many people dealing with this type of a loss.