Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bound to Parent

I had made up my mind. I was going to parent and I didn't care what anyone said about it. I emailed the birth father.

I just wanted to let you know that I am keeping this child. It is by the way your child. And you need to be prepared to help me. If you don't I will take you to court for everything you are worth.
Your pregnant EX-girlfriend Katelyn

Nice touch at the end right. Had to make sure he knew that I no longer wanted him in my life that way. His response was something I don't think I was really ready for.

I'm sorry that my reaction was so strong, in a negative direction, about our situation. That is correct I said OUR. I want to support you in your choice to parent. I have asked if I can be re-stationed in Utah so that I can be the man that I'm support to. Start looking for a house! Let me know when your next dr appointment is.
Hoping to be yours,

What do you say to that. I was completely ready to fight for what I believed he should do and now he was ready and willing to help me? How was that possible? Could everything really be working out how I had wanted it to?

I didn't think for two seconds that life with Branden wasn't exactly what I wanted. All I knew was that the father of the baby was in the picture again. HELLO talk about Joy!

I had another appointment with Talaisha and she asked me how my week was. I told her all about how Branden had stepped up and was going to help me. She told me that was great. Then she did something that I didn't expect. She asked me if I could see myself being 100% happy with Branden. You know that thought had never crossed my mind. And honestly I was glad that it hadn't. No I wouldn't be 100% happy with Branden, he wasn't and probably would never believe the same things that I did. He would never be able to give out children a priesthood blessing, he would not be the one to bless our children. He would never take me to the temple. So no I wouldn't be 100% happy with him but did that really matter? Did I have to have everything when I had done a whole lot to mess up my life?

Well Talaisha had done it to me again. Made me second guess the decision that I had come to. Well maybe not Talaisha, maybe...quiet was God making me second guess.

After my appointment with Talaisha I emailed Branden.

I don't know if I can be with you. I don't know if I can keep this baby. I don't know a lot of things right now but I do know that I don't want to look at houses.

In a matter of an hour my strong willed opinion of keeping my baby had changed. Maybe I should have NEVER emailed Branden. What if he didn't want me to give the baby away? That quickly became a question that I knew the answer to.

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